Fourteen years ago: Paynes Bay, Barbados

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She’s the most beautiful girl in the world was his first thought when he saw her.  They were visiting their relatives in Barbados for the summer, as they did every year. His father, who had been the basketball coach at Southern Methodist University, always took his summer break on the island. Lamont and his siblings had cousins and numerous friends they spent the entire summer playing with and exploring the island during those visits. Issa had been Jasmine’s and their cousin Sharon’s friend since they were toddlers. The three of them were inseparable during the summer.

Lamont had never paid any attention to Jasmine’s girlfriends before because, like his sister, they were three years younger than him.  He was sixteen when he first noticed her.  He’d been on the basketball court with his brothers, six of his cousins, and two other guys around their age when the girls had walked by the court.  The guys stopped mid-play to gawk at Jasmine and her five friends. Jasmine, Issa, and Sharon had been joined by three other girls from their extended family and were clearly anxious to sneak away and do whatever girls their age did.

Usually when he was on the court, nothing distracted him.  He was exceptionally good and already had colleges scouting him.  He’d turned to blast the guys for being so damn weak. But then he saw her, and it was him the guys were blasting.

He didn’t understand it.  Why the hell was her father letting her out of the house?  It was clear that she was mixed like they were, but she looked almost Asian.  She had long straight black hair, olive skin, and dark brown eyes. She was a tiny thing, and he loved that most about her. She fascinated him, and he couldn’t look away.

When his brothers tried to get him to pay attention to the game, he ignored them because the vision was staring back at him with the same fascination for him etched on her face. He slowly walked over on the hope that Jasmine would introduce them.

“Wasup?” he murmured to Jasmine but never looked away from the vision.

“Hey, Monty.”  Jasmine looked up at him in surprise. A frown of inquiry crossed her face.

“You good?”

“Yeah. Have you finished playing?” She looked around him to where their brothers were calling him back to the court.

“Introduce us,” he demanded instead of answering her question. He pointed his chin toward the vision he couldn’t look away from, not even long enough to look at the other girls in their group.

“You remember that we’re thirteen, right?”

“So?”

“So, you need to go after girls your own age. And you’ve met my friends before.”

Lamont ignored his sister, stepped around her, and approached the girl who had yet to look away from him.  “Hi, I’m Lamont,” he said softly.

“I…ssa…I’m Issa,” she stuttered. Her cheeks were flushed with obvious embarrassment.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured and then cringed because he hadn’t intended to say that.

“Th…thank you.”  She blushed harder.

“You live here in Barbados?”

“Monty! Go back to your friends.”

“It’s all…right,” Issa stammered.

“No, you don’t need my slutty brother sniffing after you.”

“Thanks, sis! Man, that’s just disrespectful.”

Issa giggled.

The amusement and smile on her face only made him more enthralled. “God must be sending a search party soon.” Lamont grinned.

“Why?” She looked at him in confusion.

“Because His angel is down here on earth.”

Jasmine snorted.

The other girls giggled.

Nathan, Marcus, and Jared came over and forced him back to the basketball game.

Lamont grinned good-naturedly.  He didn’t mind because Jasmine and her friends stayed to watch them play. Showing off his basketball prowess became paramount; he’d never flown so high above the rim, been faster on the dribble, or shot so accurately beyond the 3-point line.

“You can stop showing off now,” Nathan muttered.  “The girls left.”

“For real?” He looked around to make sure the guys weren’t busting his balls.  “Shit!” Lamont dropped the ball and ran back to their summer house, ignoring the shouts of his brothers calling him.  Their house was at least a mile away, and he ran full-on until he burst through the front door.

“Whoa!  Where’s the fire, young man?”  His father, Michael, looked at him as though he’d lost his mind.

In some ways, it felt as though he had lost something.  He had no idea what pull Issa had on him, but he suddenly wanted to see her again.  He didn’t want to let her out of his sight. “Where’s Jaz?”

His father smiled at him knowingly.  “Your sister is in her room with her friends.”

Lamont made to run toward the stairs leading to the bedrooms, but his father placed a palm on his chest to block his progress.

“Go and play with your brothers, Monty. Jasmine and her friends are off-limits.”

“Dad, I just need to ask Jaz a question.”

Michael sighed on seeing the determined look on his son’s face. “Son, come and sit with me for a spell.”

Lamont groaned. “Okay, Dad,” he murmured grudgingly. He knew that his father was finally going to give him the talk.  The talk that he’d already given Marcus and Nathan.  Marcus was the oldest at nineteen and then Nathan at eighteen.  He and Jared, who were sixteen and fifteen respectively, hadn’t been given the talk yet.  Sitting slowly on the sofa, he waited for his father to give him the talk that was apparently every Blackman’s rite of passage. Unfortunately, he thought that his father was a little late with the sex talk.  He’d been sexually active since he was fourteen.  Since he was a star basketball player on his high school team, the older girls had been more than eager to give him a first-hand sex education.  Yeah, this talk was a little late in coming.

“Son, I’m gonna tell you what my father told me and what his father told him.” 

Lamont mentally rolled his eyes.  He hoped this was quick, because he wanted to get to Jasmine’s room before his girl left. Yeah, he was calling her his girl! He’d never felt this on edge over any girl.

“There comes a time in every man’s life when he meets a girl he thinks he’s in love with. It happens to all of us.  However, there’s something you need to understand about all women, no matter how you feel about her.”

Lamont had not, at first, wanted to have this conversation.  Now that he realized this was probably not about sex, but was probably about girls in general, he wanted this talk. Despite the number of girls he’d already had sex with, he didn’t know much about them.  With him and his brothers being star athletes, most times he only had to smile at a girl and they were willing to do anything with him.  He didn’t even have to talk to them before they let him in.  Somehow, he knew this girl was different, and it wouldn’t be so easy to have her.  If it would help him get Issa, he’d listen to his dad all day. He inched closer to the edge of his seat.

“Women fall into two categories, the one you’d marry and the ones you wouldn’t.  Now, son, you must learn very quickly to distinguish which category your girl is in.  In all cases, you treat women with respect and as someone you need to protect.”

“I’m too young to get married, Dad. So, what do I do if I just want her for a girlfriend?”

“You’re not listening, son. You will meet many women you like and will probably desire.  But there’ll only be one you’d want to marry.  She will be someone you want to protect and cherish more than you want to take her to your bed.  Don’t get be wrong, you’ll want her in your bed more than you want any other woman there, but that desire won’t ever be more than your need to care for her, protect her.”

“So, you’re saying that I’ll know, even now, if that girl up there will be my wife or just someone I want to have sex with?”

“Yes.  And then you have a decision to make.  Remember, I said all women are to be respected and protected. Sometimes they need protection from you.  Those girls in your sister’s room are the same age as your sister.  Would you say those boys you were playing with today deserve to be with your sister?  Should they be allowed to go to her room as you’re trying to do now?  Should they be allowed to date your sister?”

“Hell no!”

“Okay.” His father nodded, his expression still stoic.  “Would you protect your sister from them?”

“Those suckers won’t even get close to her,” Lamont snarled.

“I see.  And so, should you be allowed close to that girl up there? Does she have older brothers to protect her from you?”

Lamont paused and gazed at his father for a long moment before speaking.  “Dad, but what if a girl wants me?  Jaz don’t want those boys.”

Michael sighed as though he were fighting for patience. “Does it matter if she wants those boys or not?  Is she old enough to make that decision?  Would you want her to be making that decision at thirteen?”

Lamont stood and started pacing.  “No, I wouldn’t let her even look at those mudder…”

“Lamont!”

“Er, sorry, Dad.  No, Jaz isn’t making that decision.  She’s still a baby, and those niggas…”

“Boy!”

“Sorry, Dad. Those boys would only want to get in her pants.”

“Isn’t that what you want with that girl up there?”

Lamont frowned at him. “No, Dad, I like her. And I get it, I need to protect her.  But I don’t know if I can control it, Dad.”  He continued pacing.  “I’ve liked girls before, even kissed a few”—he looked at his father sheepishly—“had sex with a few.”  

“Lamont Alexander Blackman, you’re sixteen years old.”

“I know, Dad.”

“I told you to come to me before you became sexually active! How long has this been going on?!” His father’s voice boomed throughout the room.

“Come on, Dad.  We’re talking about Issa.  I got the sex thing under control. Marcus and Nathan had the sex talk with me and Jared years ago.”

Michael scoffed, clearly offended. “Marcus and Nathan are not your father.”

“Trust me, Dad.  We’ve got the sex thing under control.  Wrap your shit up always, make sure you’re the supplier, and only fuck with girls old enough to consent.  I haven’t gone against that creed once.”

“I’m gonna have a long talk with you boys.”

“Dad, we need to focus, man.  What do I do about Issa?  She’s different.  I don’t know why.  It’s as though I have to see her, be with her.” He sighed and suddenly stopped pacing.  “Do you think she’ll like me?”

“Why wouldn’t she like you?”

Lamont couldn’t tell if his father was amused by his question or simply curious.

“I’m not like Marcus, Nathan, and Jared.  They’re light skinned.  I’m really dark.”

His father laughed.

Lamont scowled.  He didn’t like the fact that his father was laughing at him.

“You’re the same color as me.  I’d say I did well. Your mom is quite beautiful.”

“Yeah, but you were an NBA star.”

“Boy!” his father growled furiously and glared at him.  “Your mom’s no gold digger. She met and married me when I was dirt poor in college.”

Lamont nodded thoughtfully, still not convinced that Issa would like someone who was as dark skinned as he was.

“If your girl doesn’t love you no matter what your skin color, she’s not worth your time.”

“I hear you, Dad.” He stared at his father thoughtfully, still not quite sure he believed his father’s simplistic view. Kids were brutal, and they had been calling him “Midnight” all his life because of his dark skin.  “Can I go now?”

“Yeah, just remember what I said, Monty.”

“I will, Dad.”  Lamont couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Instead of going up to Jasmine’s room, he went into the kitchen to see if his mother needed him.  After talking to his father about protecting women, he realized that he hadn’t been a very good son. He spent the rest of the afternoon doing chores around the house for his mother.  When his brothers came home an hour after he did, they reluctantly joined him, grumbling the entire time.

Lamont saw Issa again when the girls all came down for dinner.  This time he was prepared for the jolt of emotion that welled up in him at the sight of her. However, what he wasn’t prepared for was her smile specifically for him. Despite the presence of his brothers, she had shy smiles only for him. He felt as though he was a superhero or someone spectacular.

He caught his father and mother looking at them with indulgent amusement. It was his mother who got him and Nathan to walk the girls home after dinner.  Nathan and Jasmine were already on board with his interest in Issa.  They deliberately walked ahead and left them to walk behind everyone else.

At first, he didn’t know what to say to her and she seemed just as tongue-tied.

“So, you always lived in Barbados?”

“No,” she whispered.  “We live part of the year in Japan.  You like living in Dallas?”

“Yeah, it’s cool.  But I like coming here too. You like Japan?”

“We have a lot of family there.”

Lamont didn’t comment on the fact that she didn’t answer the question and seemed to not want to talk about it. “Is your mom or dad Japanese?”

“My dad’s Japanese,” she said quietly. “You’re a great basketball player.”

Lamont ducked his head and grinned.  “I’m aite. What about your mom? Is she from Barbados then?”

“Yeah,” she murmured and then fell silent.

He frowned, wondering what that was all about, but he wanted to keep her talking, so he tried another tack. He asked her about school, and it seemed to be the only thing that lit her entire face. It gave him insight into her life.  No wonder she’d spent the day at their house; her home life wasn’t happy.  He vowed right then and there that he would do everything he could this summer to make her happy.

They spent the rest of the walk home talking about school.

With his brothers’ and Jasmine’s help, he spent time with Issa on the walk home whenever she was allowed to visit, and sometimes, when she visited their house, Jaz would deliberately leave them alone.  He never forgot his father’s words, and while with any other girl he would have tried to have sex with them already, he never did with her. Instead, they played video and board games and watched music videos and movies when they weren’t hanging out with his siblings, cousins, and assortment of friends. She told him a little of what her life was like at home, and he’d like to think that, in some small way, he made her life better, happier. She didn’t seem to have a close relationship with her parents and seemed to be particularly cautious when speaking about her father, whom he’d never seen.

The biggest test to his resolve to protect her came when it was time for them to leave once the summer was over.  He wanted to kiss her, but she was still thirteen, and he knew that if any guy tried to kiss his sister at that age, he’d beat the crap out of them.  So, as much as he wanted to kiss Issa, it wasn’t happening. 

Issa didn’t agree and tried to kiss him instead.

“You’re too young, baby.”

“I’m not too young, and I’m not a baby.  I’ll be fourteen in December.”

“But you’re not fourteen now, and you’re my baby.  Besides, I’m not kissing you until you’re sixteen.”

“What? That’s not fair! And that’s crazy!”

“Issa, don’t make this any harder on me than it already is.  Please, come over here and hug me.”

She stared back at him mutinously without budging.

“Issa, I won’t see you for another few months.  We don’t usually come here for Christmas, but I’m going to ask my dad if we can come back.  Would you like that?”

“Monty, I’m your girlfriend, right?”

“You know you are.”

“You’re not going to kiss any other girl, right?  You’re going to wait for me?”

“Not if you don’t come over here and hug me,” Lamont teased.  But then he could see that she wasn’t taking his teasing well. “You’re my girl, Issa.”

“I don’t suppose it’s fair that I asked you to wait for me.”

Lamont grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him.  He wrapped his arms around her. “Maybe you will change your mind in two years and won’t want to kiss me anymore,” he murmured against her hair.

“I will always want to kiss you, Monty, no matter how long you make me wait.”

“You sure? Girls think my brothers are very handsome. Me, not so much. Are you sure you want to save your first kiss for me?”

“To me, no boy is as handsome as you. I’ll save my first kiss for you and all my kisses afterward.”

“You promise?”

She widened her eyes as though she understood that he was asking for a committed promise. “Yes, I promise.”

Lamont nodded with satisfaction, hugged her close, and kissed her cheek before letting her go. “I’ll call you every night.”

And he did call her every night at first, until his parents got the first phone bill, and then he had to ration his allowance to call her once a week. Given his desperation to see her, his parents took the family back to Barbados for Christmas. As Issa’s birthday was on the twenty-first, he was even able to spend her birthday with her. Lamont never thought he could fall any harder for her, but each year, he fell deeper and deeper in love with her.  Other girls didn’t exist for him, and she seemed to feel the same way.

She did save her first kiss for him.  On her sixteenth birthday, because she had yet to introduce him to her family or date him openly, his mother cooked a special lunch at their house for her on the pretext that she was celebrating with her girlfriends. Instead, Lamont packed some of the food that his mother made and took her to the private beach near their summer home.

“Happy birthday, Issa,” he said softly as he touched his beer bottle to her glass of lemonade.

“Thank you.”

Lamont wanted to remember this moment forever.  Her smile was brighter than the sun as she reclined in a sexy pose against the smooth boulder at her back. When he’d first seen her, he’d thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world.  And nothing in the past two and a half years had changed that.  She was still the most beautiful girl in the world. However, this girl was turning into a stunning woman he now not only loved but also found impossible to resist. 

She wore a sparkling white bikini that revealed a schoolgirl’s body but was anything but that.  She was a sexy siren, and his nineteen-year-old brain was finding it difficult to control the raging lust consuming him. He’d made a promise to always protect her, even if it was from himself.

“I love you, Issa.” Lamont smiled as she blushed and ducked her head every time he said something she found intimate.

“I love you too, Lamont. I wish…”

“What do you wish?” He was more than curious at what she was holding back.  He knew that she wanted to tell him something, but she always held back as she was doing now.

“Nothing. I have everything I could ever wish for right here.  Thank you for making this my best birthday ever.”

Lamont knew that wasn’t what she’d been going to say, but he allowed it.  They had so little time together he didn’t want to waste a moment in disaccord with her. “No, you don’t have everything.  You haven’t opened your present from me yet.”

“Yes, I did.  I opened three presents from you already.  And if you add in what your parents and siblings gave me, that’s five more presents. No more, Lamont. You gave me a bracelet, a PlayStation console, and an Amazon gift card for whatever game I want. Enough. You’re spoiling me.”

Lamont laughed. “Good try, baby, but this gift is not negotiable.” He knelt in front of her on one knee as he presented her a David Yurman ring set in her birthstone of turquoise surrounded with petite diamonds.

She gasped at the sight of it.

He wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn he saw fear in her eyes before it was quickly replaced with her intense love for him.  Again he dismissed any unpleasant questioning and smiled at her, hoping his love was evident for her to see. “This ring is my promise that you’ll always be mine and I’ll always be yours.”

“Oh, my God,” she whispered and seemed to be overcome with emotion as tears spilled down her cheeks. “I love you so much, Monty.”

Lamont gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. “I hope to someday exchange this ring from a promise ring to our wedding ring.”

“How are you so sure this is what you want? I’m sure you have so many girls chasing after you in college. You’re a star athlete for God’s sake.  Why are you tying yourself to me?”

He couldn’t believe that she didn’t understand how he felt about her.  From the age of sixteen, he’d known that she was it for him.  No girl in high school or college had been able to change his mind or body about that.  And now he was beginning to think that no girl would ever sway him away from her. “Don’t you understand what you mean to me, Issa?” Lamont laughed without humor. “Do you have any concept of how much I love you?”

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you too, Monty. No matter what, I’ll never stop loving you.”

Lamont smiled and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. She felt small and fragile against his larger frame.  Being a basketball player on the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill team, and at well over six feet with over two hundred pounds of lean muscle, he had to be extremely fit to maintain his elite performance. He tried like hell to not let her know how the feel of her almost naked body against his bare chest was affecting him. “Good, then you’re not going to have any problem wearing my ring and keeping your promise. I want all these punks on this island to know that you’re mine.”

“You don’t have to worry over things like that.” She smiled up at him shyly. “I’m not interested in any other boy.”

“Well, that’s good.” He lowered his head toward her, cautioning himself the entire time that, as the adult in this situation, he had to remain in control and protect her. “Baby, I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Good because I’ve been waiting for this for two and a half years,” she teased.

He brushed his lips against hers and then lifted his head to see if she was okay.

She giggled. “Um, I may not be an expert or anything, but I don’t think that can be considered a kiss.”

“Are you laughing at my skill?” He scowled down at her, fighting like hell not to laugh at himself along with her. He couldn’t tell her how afraid he was of losing control with her. Even holding her like this was killing him.  He’d given up sex because he couldn’t have it with her, so he wasn’t in a good place when trying to control his lust for her.

She reached up, tightening her arms around his neck for an anchor as she molded herself against him, offering her lips to him again. “I’m sure with some practice you’ll get it right.”

“I was taking it easy on you, ’cause I know how hard it’s going to be for you to resist my fine ass,” he teased.

She snorted.

The smile disappeared from his face when he fused their lips. Finally he was kissing her the way he’d dreamt of for over two years.

Nothing had ever felt so right, so perfect. She was beyond what he had imagined. He angled his head and deepened the kiss.

At first, she was hesitant and unsure of herself, mimicking his every move, and then she became as aggressive as he was, kissing him with unrestrained passion. She melted against him.

He had been right to worry about his control, because it was Issa who had to call a halt to his exploration of her body. The feel of her soft skin under his palm had sent him into an almost mindless frenzy, and when he lifted his lips from hers, he had her on her back with one palm covering a naked breast and another on the naked globe of her ass, his hips grinding into hers. 

Issa was staring up at him with a mixture of desire and fear. “Monty?” 

“Christ,” he muttered before pushing himself off her in disgust and standing.

He walked a short distance away to put some space between them and even turned his back because he couldn’t look at her without wanting to pounce and damn the consequences.

“Monty?”

“Give me a sec.” He breathed in and out deeply, slowly trying to find his equilibrium. It took more than a sec before he was finally able to look at her without acting like a sex-starved maniac. “I’m sorry, baby. This will never happen again.  I’ve got to do better, protect you better.”

“You were fine. I know that I’m safe with you and you’d never hurt me.”

He frowned at her furiously.  “We can’t let this happen again. No more kisses like that.”

Issa stood and came to stand in front of him. “Of course, we must,” she said softly. “We were amazing together. I love you, and you love me. Frankly I would be pissed if you didn’t want me as much as I want you.”

“That’s fine when you’re older and can handle a man like me. But like I said before, I protect what’s mine even if it’s from myself.”

“But that’s not fair. Don’t I have a say in this?”

“Sure, you have plenty of say, just not about this.” He smiled to take the sting out his demand. “I’m not saying that I’m not going to kiss you every damn chance I get, but that’s all we’re going to do.”

“I allowed you to set the pace for us. And this is why we didn’t have our first freakin’ kiss until now.” She glared at him in frustration. “So, how long will it be before we move past this? How old will I have to be?”

“Eighteen.” Lamont couldn’t help grinning at her lack of fear in standing up to him.  He was about a foot taller than she was, and yet she didn’t back down.

“Just so you know, I hate being told what to do.”

“Is that right?” His grin grew bigger.

“Unlike this no-kiss-until-you’re-sixteen thing, I won’t be so cooperative this time. I’ll be working on changing your mind.”

“You can try.” He gave her a swift kiss on her cheek and turned away with a whistle, running across the sand to the clear blue water to cool off his overheated body.

That day changed the dynamic of their relationship. She was determined to make him lose control, and he was determined to keep it. However, that still didn’t diminish his insistence on being with her as much as his schedule allowed. His parents had given up trying to convince him to spend Christmas in Dallas. And because, most times, the basketball team didn’t have a break even over the holidays, his time with her was severely limited.

He was the star player on the team and had earned them two consecutive conference championships and two NCAA finals appearances. In his junior year, Issa enrolled in UNC, joining him a year earlier that he’d thought she would. 

They had intended living together when she came to college in his senior year.  However, since she wasn’t eighteen yet, he wouldn’t allow it. So, when she moved on campus, with her parents in tow, Lamont was shocked that she was still determined to keep their relationship a secret. This resulted in their first real fight when Issa refused to introduce him, even after he insisted.